Serious poker players know something every recovering alcoholic should know. They realize that in 1,000 poker games, all players will be dealt roughly the same kinds of hands–some awful, some sure winners, but most somewhere in between. The quality of the hands dealt you, then, does not determine your winnings. It is how all the hands–terrible, terrific, and average–are played that makes you successful or unsuccessful.
I have found the same is true for me, a recovering alcoholic. Fate deals AA members roughly the same hands–a few tragedies, some remarkable triumphs, but usually just life somewhere between these extremes. Cursing the hand dealt me is as futile and unproductive as cursing a poker hand. We can do nothing about either, and the sooner we accept the cards dealt, the sooner we can examine the hand and work our skills at making it win for us. Like successful poker players, it is not what we are dealt which determines the quality of our recovery. It is the way we “play our hands.”
I used to play poker because I enjoyed the sheer act of playing that game. But just playing never totally satisfied me. I wanted to win. I couldn’t bend or break the rules to win because my poker partners would bar me from the game. Some might have even shot me. I would have to win the game within the framework of the rules.
As a recovering alcoholic I see my recovery in similar terms. I stay sober because I enjoy my life sober much more than I enjoyed getting drunk, but that alone cannot satisfy me. I want to win–to grow in joy, serenity, and personal freedom. Like poker, that requires following a few rules: attend AA meetings, participate in them, develop relationships with fellow alcoholics, read AA literature, and, most important, work the Steps of the program. Not following these rules may find me sober, but far from the quality of sobriety I seek. More likely, though, not following these rules will find me out of the game, drunk.
Source URL: https://www.aagrapevine.org/magazine/1988/may/five-card-draw
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