APRIL 2
CHARACTER BUILDING
Demands made upon other people for too much attention, protection, and love can only invite domination or revulsion. . . .TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 44
When I uncovered my need for approval in the Fourth Step, I didn’t think it should rank as a character defect. I wanted to think of it more as an asset (that is, the desire to please people). It was quickly pointed out to me that this “need” can be very crippling. Today I still enjoy getting the approval of others, but I am not willing to pay the price I used to pay to get it. I will not bend myself into a pretzel to get others to like me. If I get your approval, that’s fine; but if I don’t, I will survive without it. I am responsible for speaking what I perceive to be the truth, not what I think others may want to hear. Similarly, my false pride always kept me overly concerned about my reputation. Since being enlightened in the A.A. program, my aim is to improve my character.April Birthdays… IF They Make It!
April 4th… George T. celebrates 43 years
April 7th… Bill B. celebrates 32 years
April 10th… Mike T. celebrates 34 years
April 11th… Tim P. celebrates 7 years
April 25th… John M. celebrates 12 years
April 26th… Lloyd A. celebrates 6 years
April 29th… Michael P. celebrates 6 years
If your birthday has been missed…. fill out the birthday form.
We really want to celebrate your AA anniversary because your birthday made ours possible!
Thanks everybody and apologies to you if you were missed or incorrectly noted.
First Wednesday… April 2nd
Come join a review of Step 4 on April 2nd (First Wednesday). “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.”
John reviews the step corresponding to the number of that month on each first Wednesday. It’s a rewarding meeting with John outlining the step of the month, how he was challenged by it and how we tackle it ourselves, with and without success! Look for his monthly contribution in this edition!
The Missing Headlines…
Funny Pages
My First Meeting
Please be “of service.” If you’ve never contributed a “My First Meeting”, please help to keep this column going…we need you! What do you remember most of your first meeting? It can be one sentence; it can be up to two paragraphs. Could be funny, poignant or strictly “clinical”. Write what you want…you might have enjoy writing it!
“Mouse’s Corner”
A.A. member Dave Mc. curates a few selected readings from a variety of A.A. related publications each month.
“The most important person to be honest with is yourself”
Alcoholics Anonymous 3rd Edition pg. 368
Rum, Radio And Rebellion
“The answers will come, if your own house is in order”
Alcoholics Anonymous pg. 164
A Vision For You
Contributed by Dave Mc.
A PRELUDE TO OUR FINEST HOURS
(reprint from April 2020)
These are difficult times.
In the past I had this sponsor who, when doing a fifth step, pointed out and made me admit in my list of resentments, my part and responsibility for those occurrences. I agreed. I was a lying, dishonest, piece of human excrement.
Today, I have several resentments but I do not feel I had any part of it.
I don’t know who to blame particularly. All I know is, I am advised to stay inside most of the day. My ex will only let me see the kids outside their home. That is a drag. My oldest is in Brooklyn, home bound and pregnant. That is worrisome.
A couple of incidents reminded me that I must keep vigilant from falling into my old ways and risk a home relapse.
First incident I noticed happened like this…I have a group of guys that I have been texting daily for what seems like over 10 years. Before that we emailed, but with advances in technology we have an almost instantaneous response to individual commentary. Usually, we speak about sports and what’s on Netflix.
One of our individuals in this group is a know-it-all attorney presently living in New York, who condescendingly imparts us with his superior insight on everything. Mind you, I go to great lengths to be nonjudgmental.
The subject is unimportant. Suffice it to say after a week of his narrative…… I had had enough. I saw a flaw in his discourse. I laid out a plan, researched my facts, and finally asked him to explain some of his perspective. It took me three days of back and forth before I hoisted him by his own petard, as the saying goes. He was humiliated by the group knowing he spoke off the top of his head.
I felt great… for about five minutes. Then I began to ask myself why it was my place to bring this guy back to earth. I was not kind in doing it. Where was my humility?
The Second Incident went like this…My ex is kind enough to walk with me to get some exercise during these trying times. It’s not easy. Wrapping myself in Saran Wrap and dousing myself with hand sanitizer is time consuming.
So we are walking over the I Street Bridge and while we were in the middle looking at the river below some kid drives by with the top of his car down, filled with his buddies. He leans out and yells … “Don’t Jump! Don’t Jump, Man!”
To which I yelled back, “You weren’t married to her!”
It was my old natural instinct or this flaw I have to say stupid stuff, without thinking, rearing it’s oh so ugly head.
I turned with a giggle to look at her. She was hurt. She was MAD! She bolted out in front of me and didn’t say a word for another mile. It’s a joke, I thought. C’mon I am funny…apparently not.
So my message to me and others who care is watch it. Is what we say, or do, going to improve our sobriety or the lives of those around us…whether we say something we think is profound or humorous, and all in between?
Think before we say what we may think are innocent and or funny comments.
These are indeed trying times, my brothers. Let us count on our AA buddies, our literature, prayers and our online meetings. At least, that’s what I am going to do.
Contributed by John M.
Tradition 04
Short Form
“Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or AA as a whole.”
Long Form
“With respect to its own affairs, each A.A. group should be responsible to no other authority than its own conscience. But when its plans concern the welfare of neighboring groups also, those groups ought to be consulted. And no group, regional committee, or individual should ever take any action that might greatly affect A.A. as a whole without conferring with the trustees of the General Service Board. On such issues our common welfare is paramount.”
Tradition Summary
OUR DECISIONS AFFECT OTHERS
For too long, I thought I was autonomous in my own right; this is also called being self-centered or selfish, with “self-will run riot.” This Tradition helps me understand that I cannot take any actions harmful to others without dire consequences to myself. I learned that nothing was really good unless other people also were considered. If I don’t seek the advice and help of others in matters affecting them, then I again become God in my own life, the exact nature of my wrongs.
The one word that characterizes the fourth tradition is the word “decisions.” This tradition teaches me how to make decisions and maintain good relationships with God and you at the same time. The traditions show us how to get along with each other. The second half of the fourth tradition teaches me to consult others when I make decisions that affect them.
I am not to be a dictator in making decisions that affect other people’s lives (or the community) as I did when I was drinking. I need help from others, especially in matters affecting them. My goal is unanimity. <I repeat> If I don’t seek the advice and help of others in matters affecting them, then I again become God in my own life, the exact nature of my wrongs.
Step-Tradition Parallel
If I don’t seek the advice and help of others in matters affecting them, then I again become God in my own life, the exact nature of my wrongs. The steps help to restore my relationship with God (through inventory among other things) and the traditions show me how to get along with God (and others). I was God in my own life. I was a dictator. With others, I was just the opposite. I sought their approval. The fourth tradition solves this dilemma: I seek to be one with God and to be one with others about matters affecting them. There are certain things that must be done alone with God, such as writing inventory. Writing inventory is an autonomous function. Interesting parallel.
From an idea by George T.
Our Trusted Servants Continue to Be:
The current Step 2 Men’s Group meeting schedule is Monday, Wednesday & Friday at Tim’s (3809 J St), Tuesday & Thursday online, Saturday in the park is “Daily Reflections” and Sunday is our Rogue meeting in the park. Each gathering is one hour. Great job men!
- Monday: Tim C.
- Tuesday: Mark C.
- Wednesday: John M.
- Thursday: Sean F.
- Friday: Jon B.
- Saturday: Dave M.
- Sunday: Mark C.
Want to add your name to the “Back-up-Help-Substitute Secretary List”? Just contact Group GS, John M., Treasurer Mark W. or any of our other Secretaries and let them know!
Step 2 Men’s Group Believes…
“Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”
We’d never presume that the 12 Steps are not clear. Nor would we imply that they need ‘improvement’. However…for purposes of assisting to keep the meeting pointed in an important direction each day, the “Step 2 Men’s Group Statement” is read as follows:
Step 2 Men’s Group is founded on the belief that spirituality is essential to our sobriety.
Our group is non-religious, but we do not oppose anyone’s religious beliefs. We believe that respect for others and their beliefs is essential to our spiritual development.
Accordingly we ask that avoid criticism of others or of their religion or lack of religion, their race, ethnicity, national origin, age, sexual orientation, physical appearance, trade or profession, length of sobriety, or personal beliefs.
Our goal is to further our spirituality, our sobriety and our personal development, not to confront or belittle others. Always remember to be kind to others.
Extra Special Thanks Dept:
Thanks to our General Secretary John M. for “Prelude”, Dave Mc. for “Mouse’s Corner” and our Treasurer Mark W. for all your contributions. We’re still waiting for YOU gentle reader…Why don’t YOU contribute a short “something?” Any length, most any AA related topic. Reply now and it will get included next month!
Men’s Gazette – March 2025