One Less Rascal

By: L. E. M. | Royal Oak, Michigan

“Make yourself an honest man, and then you may be sure there is one rascal less in the world.” These words were said by Thomas Carlyle, English essayist, historian, biographer and philosopher.

As I look back, I had been honest, but I had been honest only to the extent of my limited understanding of the word. My association with the word only encompassed the externals, such as honesty with others, giving an honest day’s work and honesty in monetary matters (thou shalt not steal).

AA has given me a new insight and dimension for the meaning of honesty. I had always been honest with others but not with myself. Behind honesty lies love of self, love of neighbor, and purpose of life. Hidden here are God-given talents and the real person whom God created. Through this channel God will reveal myriad mysteries.

It is due to this greater understanding of honesty that I have found sobriety and come to understand the many reasons for my troublesome attitudes and actions. The character I shall try to build will grow in proportion to the degree that I can be honest with myself.

There is a quality in all of us which I call the self-deception gimmick. “To be deceived by our enemies or betrayed by our friends is insupportable; yet by ourselves we are often content to be so treated.” Self deception and pride are closely related.

For a time it is possible to stay sober by becoming intensively interested in something else and forgetting oneself. With this motivation, one never gets at the real roots of his problem. The person who does this will get drunk again and find himself asking why. He may be thinking, Didn’t I do good works? Didn’t I go to meetings? Didn’t I carry the message?

Sublimation, with an intense genuine love of God at the apex, works wonders. When this is practiced God gives that mystical mystery–Grace. I point out that if one sublimates with self-centered motives–for recognition, glory, etc. he will fail. The self-deception gimmick can really thrive here. The long face of piety sometimes conceals that gimmick again.

Many have told me they don’t need to know the why of anything to stay sober. Just to stay sober–perhaps we don’t. I keep asking myself this question: why don’t they have to know why? Could this be their self-deception gimmick?

I once drank because I didn’t know why. Being informed and knowing the why is a great part of why I’m still sober.

Before AA I used to become very interested in such activities as photography, building furniture, or making toys to give away to children. I stayed sober this way for a while until pressures, boredom, or self-pity became so unbearable I turned to the only relief I knew, alcohol.

To the degree that I can be honest with myself I will find my real conflicts and their answers.

My conviction is that pride and the self-deception gimmick are synonymous. The more pride one has the more he can deceive himself. This is the block to humility. To be honest with myself is to be humble. Socrates said, “Know thyself.”

To know myself, I must understand myself. By accepting myself, I become what I really am. When I can accept myself, I can accept my neighbor, because I understand him.

“You are what you are and you cannot be said to be better than you are in God’s sight. If you consider well what you are within, you will not care what men say about you. They look to appearances but God looks to the heart. They consider the deed but God weighs the motive.” So spoke a wise man once.

If I can be honest with myself I will have real life-long friends. If I wish to deceive myself my friends will be deceivers also: “A fool always finds some greater fool to admire him.”

I find it necessary, in doing good works, to look at my motives. We are not saints–the point is we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. Everything depends on our ability to recognize the self deception gimmick, and then do something about it.