September 1948
The question of persons, who after two, three, even five or more years of continued sobriety in A.A., “having trouble,” came up in a discussion meeting recently. How to avoid the “trouble” is an important question.
It seems to boil down to something like Jack Dempsey’s reply to a questioner, after Gene Tunney had flattened him, who asked, “What happened?” The “Mauler” answered, “I forgot to duck!”
We, too, forget to duck. We get out of practice. We learn early in A.A. that we should practice the Program continuously. That slip doesn’t occur when we take the first drink–it may have happened a day, a month or a year before we take the first drink. Indeed, I have observed cases where everyone but the chap himself saw it coming. Strangely enough, no one can talk to the “slipper.” Usually he has been on the Program longer–dry longer and has all the answers.
However, he has fast grown away from the very simple Program he learned when he first came in. That is kindergarten stuff to him. Through the habit of not drinking, he feels that he is safe.
In spite of his knowing, “once an alcoholic always an alcoholic,” he is forgetting the 10th Step. Envy has slipped into his thinking. Jealousies and resentments lurk within him–The fellows at the office or shop are picking on him again–The wife doesn’t understand him anymore–Other A.A.s are running, or trying to run, the group–The speakers are boring–He resented the fact that he couldn’t drink with the other fellows at the company outing–People don’t appreciate his staying sober.
These and a thousand other little things may be the slip he didn’t catch soon enough.
We are never going to reach perfection. The above-mentioned things are insidious, but we can strive to keep them out of our thinking. They are our weeds. Unless we remove them, they will choke out our correct thinking to a point where we will get into trouble.
Years ago I was taught by those who preceded me that I must ever be on guard–that I’d always be an alcoholic–Thank God I’ve always remembered it.
When we find envy, jealousy, resentments, creeping into our thinking, let’s weed them out. The simple way, it seems to me, is to review our actions each day. Check where we could have been a little more understanding, or tolerant to someone else–whether the time we blew up was really as important as we tried to make it. Let us try to recapture the wonderful feeling we had when we first came into A.A.
We’ll usually find, as always, that the fault is within us. So let’s talk the misunderstandings out. Let’s give the other fellow the word of encouragement that he needs. It is good to get away by ourselves and think things through, honestly, humbly, as we’d advise a newcomer to do.
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Taking Time Off May Mean More Time On
On the 10th Step. . . .