Step 2 Men’s Gazette

STEP 2 MAN FAILS IN BID FOR 40TH SOBRIETY BIRTHDAY!

April Fools! You just never know though do you?

Our own George T. is on track to celebrate forty years of continuous sobriety this Monday, April 4th… IF he makes!

We know George loves being the center of attention right? Please attend and help us celebrate at the Step Two Men’s Group meeting, 11:30 Monday April 4th @ 3809 J Street, the side door behind the “House- Tim Collum” Real Estate office.

Forty years is a long time, George has inspired a ton of guys in those years, including probably most of us. I know, I know, he’s angry right? Not so much these days!

Thanks for all the years George T!

“Mouse’s Corner”

A.A. member Dave Mc. curates a few selected readings from a variety of A.A. related publications each month. Dave is a life long friend of the editor and has been sober 34 years. His childhood nickname was “Mouse!” 

“Where we used to run from responsibility, we find ourselves accepting it with gratitude that we can successfully shoulder it.”
Alcoholics Anonymous 4th Edition pg. 275, The Keys of the Kingdom

“By living alone you can pretty much eliminate grief from your life, but you may also eliminate joy.”
Alcoholics Anonymous 4th Edition pg. 257, The Man Who Mastered Fear

Contributed by Dave Mc.

40 years sober…or should it be 40 years a sober horse thief?  

As I sit writing this, I am not yet 40 years sober, and being a superstitious sort of person, I worry that making a prediction for 5 days from today will put me in jeopardy. The truth is, I am not even certain of my sobriety date. I know it was sometime early April.  I thought it was April 2, and then I thought it was April 4. Sometimes I think it should be April 1, April Fools Day.  Haven’t I been fooling myself all along? Am I really an alcoholic? Surely someone who hasn’t had a drink in nearly 4 decades could not call themselves an alcoholic could they? Have I not, by some looney logic earned myself the right to a drink?  And who cares anyway?  I am retired.  It is not like I have job to lose anymore.  My kids are grown.  They can take care of themselves.  It might kill me.  Well,  I am nearly 69 years old. Something is going to kill me sooner rather than later.  But here is the deal: I do not want to die as that guy…because that guy was living  a life of make believe.   If you believe in the Many Worlds theory of the Universe, in some parallel life I do take that drink today, and what might be the consequences?  I don’t know.  Not really. But here is the truth for me today in this world, this version of my life, the version where I got into AA and have spent 40 years trying to learn to live sober. I had a lot to learn! I burned through marriages, jobs, and money, dragged around under the weight of debt, depression, fears, and angers, and somehow managed to get through it all without picking up that first drink. Slowly, over time becoming the type of person I wanted to be, a person I could look at in the mirror and get the sense of yeah, nothing perfect, but it works for me. This is the George I like.  This is the only version of myself that makes sense to me anymore. But I still know that clueless, immature, nearly 29-year-old boy pretending to be a man…that George is me too! Me and that kid have been through too much over the years to throw it all away now. So what does a real alcoholic do?

We rededicate ourselves to another day…and on it goes!  Aren’t we the luckiest guys in the world?

Thanks to all of you for helping me stay sober!

George T.

THE LITERARY CORNER:

“He disapproved, he didn’t believe in girls drinking, he was full of the conventions of a generation older than himself. Of course one drank oneself, one fornicated, but one didn’t lie with a friend’s sister, and ‘decent’ girls were never squiffy.” 
― Graham Greene, England Made Me

My First Meeting

Please be “of service.” If you’ve never contributed a “My First Meeting”, please help to keep this column going…we need you! What do you remember most of your first meeting? It can be one sentence; it can be up to two paragraphs. Could be funny, poignant or strictly “clinical”. Write what you want…you might have enjoy writing it!

Penance

I have something like a white shirt that I keep in a closet. It has a black stain from indelible ink that runs down the front of it from the pocket to waist. I should throw it out but somehow it always makes it back in there. 

Around this time each year, I find that shirt. I have a friend named David. I know he means well but…. Around this time each year, he tries to reach out and contact me. And I avoid him like Covid 19. Its like, he’s there to remind me the shirt is still in the closet. 

I know he means well. I know when he says he loves me, he means it. And I hear from someone else how he’s doing, which is not always well, but I do not contact him to give him my best. I do love him too. We had some crazy fun times together and shared some sad ones too. But I cannot go back to where he is to talk to him. I am deathly afraid of that former lifestyle we shared. 

So why did I cut him off? 

I was not always this poignant intellectual writer. I was more an impulsive, immature hellraiser. I was carefree and friendly. I believed things would always work out for the better. I didn’t ever try to hurt people but generally I didn’t care what other people thought either. And then something happened and David was by association on the periphery. 

I don’t blame him. He’s was there. That is his only transgression. 

But he’s friends with other people I know. Some of them I loved like him and trusted even more. But some of them, betrayed me. Betrayed my trust. And it’s a resentment at the top of the page in my Step Four and it never goes away. 

I believe everyone looks out for their best interests and has the right to do so. Except when you have to lie to preserve those interests and that person or persons continues to lie even when caught. That’s the problem with a lie, you have to keep making up different lies and equivocations to protect the integrity of the first lie. 

The thing is, I have done the same thing. I am not holier than them. I have gone through the same process sometimes in life. What makes it different about this is that I feel going anywhere back or near these miscreants, could lead me back to insobriety and I will not risk that.

Not anymore. 

When I got out of my last rehab, I hooked up with Robert, my second sponsor and a true wise older gentleman. We read the Book before I told him my story. After I did, he told me that I didn’t have to take it anymore. At first, I thought Revenge. Right on, lets lock and load and get those guys. That’s how pissed off I was. But no, Robert said he didn’t mean that. 

Instead, what he meant was that I was to let it go. He meant that I could no longer fight this, I need to fight for my sobriety and life. And that was not as easy as said. I was the Respondent in a lawsuit. 

He helped me get through it but it exacted a terrible toll. It’s safe to say, it is something I have never gotten over. Nor do l intend to. 

Thank God, its progress not perfection. I think that’s just how things are. I know the AA philosophy is not to hang on to resentments and that is a lofty goal. I believe that there are other tools in AA that help me live with it. And that, my friends, is the honest to God best I can do.

Contributed by John M.

April Birthdays… IF They Make It!

April 4th… George T. celebrates 40 years

April 7th… Bill B. celebrates 29 years

April 10th… Mike T. celebrates 31 years

April 11th… Tim P. celebrates 4 years

April 25th… John M. celebrates 9 years

April 26th… Lloyd A. celebrates 3 years

April 29th… Michael P. celebrates 3 years

If your birthday has been missed…. fill out the birthday form.

We really want to celebrate your AA anniversary because your birthday made ours possible!

Thanks everybody and apologies to you if you were missed or incorrectly noted.

First Wednesday… April 6th

Come join a review of Step 4 on April 6th (First Wednesday). “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.”

John reviews the step corresponding to the number of that month on each first Wednesday. It’s a rewarding meeting with John outlining the step of the month, how he was challenged by it and how we tackle it ourselves, with and without success! Look for his monthly contribution in this edition!

Funny Papers

Tradition Three

“Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or AA as a whole.“

Long Form:

With respect to its own affairs, each A.A. group should be responsible to no other authority than its own conscience. But when its plans concern the welfare of neighboring groups also, those groups ought to be consulted. And no group, regional committee, or individual should ever take any action that might greatly affect A.A. as a whole without conferring with the trustees of the General Service Board. On such issues our common welfare is paramount.

OUR DECISIONS AFFECT OTHERS

For too long, I thought I was autonomous in my own right; this is also called being self-centered or selfish, with “self-will run riot.” This Tradition helps me understand that I cannot take any actions harmful to others without dire consequences to myself. I learned that nothing was really good unless other people also were considered. If I don’t seek the advice and help of others in matters affecting them, then I again become God in my own life, the exact nature of my wrongs.

The one word that characterizes the fourth tradition is the word “decisions.” This tradition teaches me how to make decisions and maintain good relationships with God and you at the same time. The traditions show us how to get along with each other. The second half of the fourth tradition teaches me to consult others when I make decisions that affect them.

I am not to be a dictator in making decisions that affect other people’s lives (or the community) as I did when I was drinking. I need help from others, especially in matters affecting them. My goal is unanimity. <I repeat> If I don’t seek the advice and help of others in matters affecting them, then I again become God in my own life, the exact nature of my wrongs.

Step-Tradition Parallel

If I don’t seek the advice and help of others in matters affecting them, then I again become God in my own life, the exact nature of my wrongs. The steps help to restore my relationship with God (through inventory among other things) and the traditions show me how to get along with God (and others). I was God in my own life. I was a dictator. With others, I was just the opposite. I sought their approval. The fourth tradition solves this dilemma: I seek to be one with God and to be one with others about matters affecting them. There are certain things that must be done alone with God, such as writing inventory. Writing inventory is an autonomous function.  Interesting parallel.

(Excerpts from the text above come from the Traditions Study developed by the Unity Insures Recovery Through Service A.A. Group, Los Angeles, CA.)

Our Trusted Servants Continue to Be:

The current Step 2 Men’s Group meeting schedule is Monday and Wednesday at 3809 J St, Tuesday and Friday on Zoom and “Saturdaily Reflections” at McKinley. Each gathering is one hour and meets at 11:30am.

• Monday: Tim C.
• Tuesday: Mark W.
• Wednesday: John M.
• Friday: Brad W.
• Saturday: David K.

Want to add your name to the “Back-up-Help-Substitute Secretary List”? Just contact Group GS, Tom W., Treasurer Mark W. or any Monday through Sunday Secretaries and let them know!

Step 2 Men’s Group Believes…

“Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”

We’d never presume that the 12 Steps are not clear. Nor would we imply that they need ‘improvement’. However…for purposes of assisting to keep the meeting pointed in an important direction each day, the ‘Step 2 Men’s Group statement is read as follows:

Step 2 Men’s Group is founded on the belief that spirituality is essential to our sobriety. Our group is non-religious, but we do not oppose anyone’s religious beliefs. We believe that respect for others and their beliefs is essential to our spiritual development. Accordingly we ask that avoid criticism of others or of their religion or lack of religion, their race, ethnicity, national origin, age, sexual orientation, physical appearance, trade or profession, length of sobriety, or personal beliefs. Our goal is to further our spirituality, our sobriety and our personal development, not to confront or belittle others. Always remember to be kind to others.

Extra Special Thanks Dept:

Thanks to George T. for “40 Years Sober…” and thank you John M. for “Penance”. Thanks to Dave Mc. for “Mouse’s Corner.” Thank you Mark W. for your endless contributions. We’re still waiting for YOU gentle reader…Why don’t YOU contribute a short “something?” Any length, most any AA related topic. Reply now and it will get included next month!